The doctor pointed at the scan, her voice steady. “Betsy’s blood clot would have traveled up this artery and up to the brain, which has then caused the stroke. ”
I stared at the image, trying to make sense of it. A young woman, vibrant and full of life, now lying in a hospital bed because someone put their hands around her neck during sex.
She consented. She wanted it. And now she might never be the same. If you’ve been keeping up with the story, you know it’s taken a shocking turn.
Betsy suffered a stroke after strangulation during a consensual encounter. It’s a fictional storyline, but it explores an issue with very real consequences. And before filming began, we honestly didn’t know much about the risks ourselves. That’s why I sat down with Professor Catherine White from the Institute for Addressing Strangulation.
We had questions. We knew the viewers would too. So we asked her to explain the facts behind the story. “How has strangulation become something people see as normal?
” I asked her. Professor White’s background is in sexual and domestic violence, where she saw a lot of strangulation. But then she noticed research emerging from Australia and America about strangulation during consensual sex. Her institute ran a survey, then followed it up with a much bigger one last year.
Over 4,000 people responded, all aged 16 to 34. “It’s just incredible,” she said. “For older generations, like me, it’s not a thing. But in the younger generations, it’s massive.
Over 50% of respondents had been strangled during consensual sex. ”
Why? “Pornography gets a big lump of the blame. But it’s not just pornography.
It’s leached into general mainstream media. ”
She told me about a hugely popular song, with over 200 million views, that references strangulation. Young people are surrounded by it. “If you’re surrounded by it, you just think it’s normal.
Why wouldn’t you? ”
So much so that people don’t know the risks because it’s been so normalized. “We’ve done this before and that never happened to you. I didn’t hurt her.
And we both wanted it. ” Those are the kinds of conversations I’ve heard since the story aired. Professor White brought a model of a head to show me exactly what happens. Many people think strangulation is safe as long as you don’t press on the windpipe.
But looking at the model, you can see the red arteries carrying oxygen and nutrients up to the brain, and the blue veins bringing blood back down. “If you have pressure on either side of the neck, that’s going to squash off these blood vessels and cause problems without any pressure applied to the windpipe at all,” she explained. I was struck by how much is going on in the neck, how many functions depend on it. The yellow nerves.
The delicate structures. “It doesn’t have to take a great deal of pressure to make damage,” I said. “No, not at all. The veins tend to be more superficial.
It really doesn’t take a lot of pressure to squash the veins. So even if you’ve got blood going up to the brain, it can’t leave. You get a traffic jam, and that’s when blood vessels can burst. It takes a bit more pressure to squash the arteries because they’re more protected.
But as soon as you stop blood flow up to the brain, you’re into problems rapidly. ”
Betsy’s blood clot traveled up her carotid artery to her brain. The doctors found damage to the lining of that artery from a blow to the neck. The storyline has created a huge reaction on social media, with lots of comments and questions.
We used our time with Professor White to bust some myths. “If they both consented, then surely it’s safe,” one commenter said. “You don’t have to spend too long thinking about that to see why it might not be the case,” Professor White said. “Your brain doesn’t know whether it’s consensual.
Your blood vessels don’t know. Your nerves don’t. The impact is the same whether it’s consensual or not. ”
There’s no safe way to strangle.
That’s the institute’s motto. Another question: “Wouldn’t Betsy be covered in bruises? ”
“You can get bruising from strangulation, but as we talked about, there’s internal damage. Yes, you might see bruises.
But it depends on skin color, clothing, where the pressure was applied. There’s even research where people have died during strangulation with no external sign at all. ” Bruising doesn’t equal the extent of injury. And if she could still speak or breathe, she must have been fine?
“Intuitively, you think that’s right. But it depends on where the pressure’s applied. If it’s on either side of the windpipe, on the blood vessels, you’d become unconscious very quickly. On average, 6.
8 seconds. The windpipe is more protected, so you’ll squash the blood vessels first. Someone could be talking, even shouting for help, and still be rendered unconscious. ”
One of the biggest myths, Professor White said, is the consent part.
“People think if I’ve consented, then it’s safe. Another thing people think is they can tap out or use a safe word. But the organ you need to tap out or think properly is your brain, and that’s the organ being deprived of oxygen. Losing consciousness isn’t like a light switch.
There are a couple of seconds where you’re going light-headed, where your brain is beginning to shut down. That’s when you need to perform those actions, and you might not be able to. ”
In the story, Betsy’s mother has to have a difficult conversation with her daughter after the stroke. “I’m not stupid.
Everyone at school’s talking about it,” Betsy says. The mother pushes gently. “I know it’s awkward and embarrassing, but it’s also really important that I know you’re getting the right information. ”
There will be many parents tuning in to see this storyline.
Clips get shared widely on social media, reaching younger audiences. So we asked Professor White: if a parent wants to talk to their child about this, what’s the best approach? “Every child-parent relationship is different,” she said. “But having some kind of conversation is key.
Most young people don’t like being told what to do. Sometimes telling them what not to do makes them want to do it. The big thing is giving them the right information, so they can make up their own minds. ”
Her survey found that one of the biggest reasons people strangled or were strangled was because they thought it was expected of them.
“Sometimes they’re asking to be strangled because they think it’s what they’re expected to do. So it’s about giving young people the information and the autonomy, the power to say no. You don’t have to do this. ”
As a team, we made sure our characters weren’t all clued up on the risks.
That felt true to life. We have a mother who’s never heard of it, a middle-ground character like Ryan who’s heard of it and is shocked, and the younger generation where it’s completely normalized. This wasn’t taught in sex ed years ago, and maybe it needs to be integrated now, both at home and in schools. “I think that’s vital,” Professor White agreed.
“The teachers need the right information so they know how to talk about it. You can say things, but do people hear them? Do they listen? It’s about having that impact so people can make the right decisions for themselves.
It’s about empowering young people to make the right choices. ”
Then Professor White gave us an analogy that stuck with me. “We sometimes hear, ‘I’ve done it before and nothing bad happened. ’ That can be true.
But it’s like teaching a child road safety. If they don’t look both ways, they might run across the road and not get hit by a car. But you wouldn’t say that’s fine just because they didn’t get hit this time. We teach them to look because we’re trying to reduce risk.
That’s my approach to strangulation. I don’t want to police people or tell them what to do. But I want to give them information so they can weigh up the risks and make their own minds up. ”
Soaps are powerful because they put issues into real-life situations.
It’s not a documentary. It’s a story woven into everyday life, which is what makes conversations start. The reaction to Betsy’s story shows that. Thousands of people are talking about something that was previously a hidden risk.
Thanking Professor White, I felt grateful for her knowledge and honesty. “Should we get a pint now? ” I joked. “Definitely.
You don’t have to ask me twice. ”
But the conversation didn’t end there. It’s happening in living rooms, on social media, among young people who are suddenly realizing that something they thought was normal can have devastating consequences. A young woman in a hospital bed, her life forever changed by a moment of pleasure that went dangerously wrong.
And somewhere out there, many others are wondering if they’re at risk too.
