“I can’t believe I need help,” I muttered, trying to push myself up from the chair. Betsy steadied my arm, her grip gentle but firm
“Don’t be silly,” she said softly. “I’ve had mates hold me up when I couldn’t stand either. It’s fine.
”
I hated this. Hated needing anyone. Hated that my own body had betrayed me so completely that I couldn’t even get to the toilet without help. noth since the night Dylan attacked me.
Theo’s life insurance payment had come throughthat morning. A digital transfer, quiet and clinical, sitting there in my bank account like a terrible joke. It was hard to feel grateful for money that came from your husband being murdered by your best mate. .
had tried to give most of it away, but Todd—Theo’s brother—had refused to take it for himself. Said it should go to Theo’s kids. They’d suffered enough, he said. “Happy birthday, love.
” Mum’s voice brought me back, her face creased with worry as she handed me a small vase of flowers. They were lovely, though I could tell she was terrified of saying the wrong thing. “Don’t be daft,” I said, forcing a smile. “They’re lovely.
”
A message pinged on my phone. Summer, Theo’s sister. “Happy birthday! Looking forward to your drinks later.
Todd and I have got some exciting news. ”
Betsy raised an eyebrow. “Well, I think you and I are about to catch a bit of a lucky break. ”
I didn’t feel lucky.
I felt hollowed out. But I nodded anyway. Later, Bethany dropped Harry off—Sarah’s little boy, the kid I’d stepped up to care for when Sarah got arrested. He was off to play football with his mates, and I watched him go, a lump in my throat.
He deserved better than all of this. Better than a mum in prison and a dad who was gone. Better than me trying to pretend everything was normal when my head was still pounding from what Dylan did to me that night. “You didn’t tell the police what Dylan did,” Betsy said quietly.
I felt my stomach clench. “I don’t want to talk about it. ”
“I know you don’t,” she pressed. “But if you leave it too late, it’s going to be too late to press charges.
”
“It wasn’t an accident,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. “Dylan had a choice. ”
“Stop it,” I snapped, tears burning my eyes. “I don’t want to be left alone.
”
Betsy sighed, but she stayed. Gary came by later. The man I’d once loved, the man I’d risked everything for. I’d given a false alibi to protect him when Theo was murdered—swore blind he’d had nothing to do with it.
And I believed him. I had to believe him, because the alternative was unthinkable. But now the truth was sitting between us like a wall of glass. He knew it.
I knew it. And we both knew the police were closing in. “You’ve risked everything for Sarah,” Gary said, his voice tight. “My future.
Our boy’s future. I know I did. I’m sorry. ”
“Her name might as well be on our marriage certificate,” I said bitterly.
“She’s just a mate. That night, she needed my help. It wasn’t an affair. ”
“And what do you want me to say?
” I asked. “Nothing. There’s nothing more you can say. ”
The silence stretched.
Finally, Gary spoke. “What next counts. All we have to do is hold our nerve. ”
I shook my head slowly.
“It’s all besides the point now. Meaning I have to stand by the false alibi I gave for you when you swore blind you had nothing to do with Theo’s death. ”
“I didn’t,” he said emphatically. “You’re splitting hairs, Gary.
We both know you’re going down for this. The only question left is whether you take me down with you. ”
“There’s no reason for them to arrest me. ”
“Apart from the fact that you’re in it up to your neck and her copper boyfriend knows.
” I stopped, my throat tight. “When she starts talking, you’ll get done for perverting the course of justice. And our boys will be left on their own. ”
“It’s not going to come to that.
”
“No, you’re right. It won’t. ” I looked at him, my voice hardening. “Because if I retract my statement now, maybe I’ll avoid prison.
”
Gary’s face went pale. “No. No. Please don’t do that.
”
“I have to, Gary. Because unlike you, I put my family first. ”
That night, alone in my flat, I stared at my hands. They were still trembling.
But this time, it wasn’t fear. It was resolve. I couldn’t keep living this lie. Not for him.
Not anymore. But then I thought of the boys. Harry, who needed me. Sam, who was coming home soon from his placement.
Fingers were still stiff, still shaky, but the physio said I was getting stronger. Little and often was the key. I just needed to get through this. One day at a time.
At the party Bethany threw for me—a quiet gathering at the pub—Sarah’s name came up again. A friend, Brian, mentioned her. Said it must be eating her up, knowing Harry would grow up knowing his mum killed a man. I said I was more upset than angry.
I understood why she’d kept quiet while I sat in prison. She had Harry to think about. A mother would do anything to protect her child. Even let an innocent woman take the fall.
Christina looked mortified when she realized she’d brought it up. “I’m so sorry,” she said, her face flushed. “Don’t worry,” I said, forcing a smile. “It’s fine.
Honestly. ”
But it wasn’t fine. It was never going to be fine. I just wanted the money gone.
That was the point of giving it all to Theo’s kids. I didn’t want a penny of it. It felt like blood money. And the sooner it was out of my account, the better.
I’d even told Todd I didn’t want any of it. He’d looked at me like I was mad. But I meant it. Then Gary came back.
He found me standing by the bar, nursing a drink I hadn’t touched. “Where you been? ” I asked, keeping my voice steady. “Not to the police, if that’s what you’re asking.
I can’t do it to the boys. Not unless I absolutely have to. ”
“It just boils down to whether we can trust Sarah,” I said. “Well, she told you she’d keep my name out of it.
”
“No, thanks,” I said, my voice cold. “I’ve been really worried. I don’t want to lose you. ”
Gary’s face crumpled.
“No, no. Don’t say that. ”
“That ship has well and truly sailed,” I said quietly. “Just because I’ve not dropped you in it with the police don’t mean there’s a future for us.
”
“I made a mistake in the heat of the moment,” he pleaded. “No, you didn’t, Gary. You’ve been lying and covering up for weeks. I made the mistake thinking that you could ever love anyone but her.
”
“That’s not true,” he said, his voice cracking. “We’ve been through this. ”
“No, actually, I’ve been through this for years. Lie after lie.
Betrayal after betrayal. Always leading back to her because it’s her you love. Not me. ”
“I think it is.
Nobody puts their neck on the line for someone the way you did. Not unless they care more for that person than they do themselves. ”
The words hung between us. Gary looked like I’d slapped him.
Sam was doing really well, apparently. Bright kid. I hoped he could pick up where he left off at school when he came home. He deserved that much, at least.
I changed the subject. “So is it true, then, about the restaurant job in Brighton? ”
Gary blinked, caught off guard. “What’s true?
”
“That you hesitated so long and they went with someone else. ”
He looked away. “News travels fast. ”
“I’ve been to Ollie’s.
Best meal I’ve ever eaten. Most chefs would give their right arm for that job. ”
“Right job, wrong time. At least I thought it was.
I was trying to be loyal to my family, but turns out that doesn’t always cut both ways. ”
“Well, maybe, maybe not. ” He paused, then said,“How’d you fancy working here? ”
I stared at him.
“Not after charity. ”
“I’m not offering charity. Look, I’m fed up of relying on agency staff. We might not have a fancy star yet, but when Sam gets home, I’m going to need a reliable, talented chef running my kitchen.
So what do you reckon? ”
“When do I start? ” I asked, surprise creeping into my voice. He laughed, a real laugh for the first time in weeks.
“First thing Monday. ”
Later that evening, Gary found me alone again. He was drunk, brave from the brandy I’d watched him pour down his throat. “I love you,” he said, his words slurring together.
“I’ve loved you from the minute we got together. I’ve never seen a future without you in it. ”
“Well, you’re just going to have to get used to the idea. ”
“I don’t know if I can.
If you walk away, I’m finished. ”
“Don’t be a drama queen. ”
“Oh, yeah. Cuz that’s me all over, isn’t it?
Always getting choked up. Always making big romantic declarations. Yeah, that’s me down to a tea. ”
“If you really feel like this,” I said, my voice steady,“then why did you risk it?
”
“Because I’m an idiot. That’s why. Because I don’t know what’s good for myself, do I? But it’s not because I don’t love you.
Please tell me you believe that. ”
“I don’t know what to believe anymore,” I admitted. The air felt heavy. My heart was pounding but my head was clear.
“I think there’s only one way that I’ll know for sure,” I said slowly. Gary looked at me, his eyes searching mine. “All right. Say the word and I’ll do it.
”
“I need to go and talk to Sarah,” I said. “Need to look her in the eye and see what’s there. ”
He nodded, swallowing hard. “Okay.
”
“Until then,” I said, stepping back,“you can keep on the sofa. ”
I turned away. My fingers still trembled, but for the first time in months, I felt like I was the one in control. Whatever happened next, I would face it on my terms.
Not his. Not hers. Not anyone else’s.
.
