“No need to be coy, Sam. We both know today is the day you take control of your destiny. ”
I sat there, staring at the coffee cup between my hands, the steam curling up in lazy spirals. Varda had that tone again—the one that made my stomach drop.
She always knew when I was about to cave. “There’s no maybe about this,” she pressed. “That’s not true,” I muttered, but even I didn’t believe it. “If that’s your final word, you and I have no more to say to one another.
”
I swallowed hard. “You’re the only friend I’ve got. ”
“Only friend you had. ” She leaned back, arms crossed.
“A natural reluctance to act decisively is one thing. ” Then she nodded at my hands. “Staring competition between you and that coffee. ”
I forced a laugh, but it came out hollow.
She wasn’t wrong. I’d spent months letting things slide, letting Will walk all over me, letting everyone treat me like a doormat. “We should have nipped it in the bud before he did his exams last year,” she said. I shook my head.
“What was all that, Varda? ”
“He’s just under a lot of pressure at work, that’s all. ”
“No need to take it out on me. ”
“No, I know.
” She softened for a moment. “Those other losers have a coffee in your custom. ” Then she smirked. “Although it’s not all about the finishing first.
Tearing people apart is each other, right? ”
I stared at her. “Hey, you’ll be home in no time. ”
“I’m not sure I have any fight left in me,” I whispered.
“I’m frightened all the time. ”
“Everything is going to be all right. ”
I shook my head. “I didn’t mean to do this to you.
”
She reached across the table, her fingers brushing mine. “All right, there must be a chaplain or…”
“No, no, God doesn’t exist in that prison. I’m starting to think that he doesn’t exist anywhere else. ” My voice cracked.
“Which breaks my heart because that means that Billy is gone. ”
The door swung open and a guard poked his head in. “We’re somewhat short-handed. Nina wanted to catch Summer at the hospital before she’s discharged.
”
Varda waved him off. “Well, as they’re returning her to prison, I imagine she’s recovered. ”
“Enough pain as it is without you getting any sort of injury,” I said, forcing lightness. “I just want to get these bikes to the garage.
”
“Well, all I know is I want to get these back to the garage before they go cold. ”
“Well, then it’s done. I mean, these things happen. ”
“Yeah, they do if you walk around with your flaming eye sore.
”
I laughed, but it faded fast. “It’s all right. You and me both. ”
She tilted her head.
“Yeah, well, I’m not shedding any tears about Theo, but somehow, I mean, come on. ”
I looked away. “No, it can’t be her, can it? ”
“No.
” She sighed. “You care about me, that’s all. You’re the only person who understands what I’m going through. And there’ll be no possibility of that, long-term, if Will remains free to torment and, ultimately, destroy you.
”
I blinked. “Taken matters into my own hands? ”
“You’re all mellow. ”
“It’s ’cause I wish it was somebody else, to be honest.
” I ran a hand through my hair. “Just tell me. ”
She was quiet for a long moment. Then, “No, she didn’t.
”
“No, no. No, I had no time for the poor boy, but I wouldn’t do that. ”
“And why would you do that? ” I snorted.
She bit her lip. “Well, because otherwise, I would have to tell them where I really was, and then I’d be the one getting arrested. ”
My stomach twisted. “So, I went in to check and Carl was tinkering under Kev’s car.
”
“No, no, like I wanted a really clear video of what he was doing, you know, like proof. So he couldn’t slither out of this like he does absolutely everything else, but I bent down and then he moved. ”
I stared at her. “Then he wasn’t slithering out of anything.
”
“But how come nobody else found out what happened? I mean, it must have been a right mess at that garage. ”
“It was. I went in early and cleared things up and I didn’t check the CCTV, but there was none because Kyle had turned it off.
” She paused. “Reeled off all this stuff that you suddenly had to do. ”
“Because I couldn’t exactly tell you the truth, could I? Just like I couldn’t tell the police the truth.
”
My voice came out hard. “So, not only did you fail to phone the police when you really should have done about Kyle, but you lied to them. ”
“There’s no suppose about it. ”
“I’m sorry, but you’ve been a complete plonker.
”
She flinched. “How… because Kyle already thinks that it was me. But if I go changing my statement, then he’s going to know for sure. ”
“First thing I did.
” She swallowed. “Hopefully, it’s still in your deleted folder. ”
“Uh, no. No, I’m all good, thanks.
”
“It’s what you said in your text. ”
“Well, if it’s forgiveness you’re after, you’re going to have to take it over your god. ”
I stared at her. “I waited out from what you said in the pub the other day, and your face in the cafe this morning.
All the confirmation I needed. ”
“No, I admit I did it, but not on purpose. ”
“You gave me non-stop grief for months about that, and you’re going to do the exact same thing. ”
“If you could don’t cover it.
Well, why don’t we just say it makes us even, then? ”
“No way. ” I shook my head. “And if you think I’m going to just let you off the hook ’cause you dropped me off at the hospital…”
“Then I didn’t—you what?
”
She leaned forward. “Well, I wouldn’t do that if I was you. ’Cause I’ve got a film of exactly what happened on here. ”
I froze.
“But it does show that I’m not the only criminal caught in the act. I mean, it’s not going to win any Oscars, is it? ”
“Because the film clearly shows that it was an accident. ”
She pushed a small plate toward me.
“Smells all right. ”
I blinked. “What’s all this in aid of? ”
“Well, you won’t get any arguments from me, babe.
” She smiled. “Oof, and then some. ” I took a bite. “Still though, it doesn’t excuse yesterday.
”
“I mean, no offense, but David, as if. All right, can we move on? ”
“No more than I could David. ”
“You know, this is how you treat me after all the trouble I’ve gone to in here.
Oh, I’m only messing. ” She slid a small envelope across the table. “Got some owls for you and all. ”
I opened it.
Inside was a photo—grainy, black and white. “There’s a first ultrasound photo in there. ”
I stared at it. “It’s just a little story so far.
”
“They will be inscribing it any day now. ”
I looked up. “No, I’ve been thinking. If I was to talk to Will…”
Her face hardened.
“It’s all you ever do, Sam. It’s all you’re good for. Inane babble in the service of nothing, signifying nothing, because you are nothing. Sniveling weakling waiting for natural selection to put you out of your misery.
”
I flinched. “But not only did you refuse to act, you were too squeamish to allow me to do so. ”
I looked down. “Oh, I bumped into him earlier and I spilled coffee down his shirt.
”
“No, I meant Chuck. ” She leaned closer. “Because it got me thinking, right? ”
I shook my head.
“I think it was the wedding, you know, and after a few everything was a bit of a blur. And then believe it or not, this afternoon it just started to come back to me and everything. I think it was probably because of alcohol. ”
She smiled slowly.
“All right. ”
