“Dylan came to see you? ” Lauren asked, scrunching her nose. “Yeah,” I admitted, sighing. “That’s my bad.
I called him. ”
“Yeah, we shouldn’t have,” Lauren agreed. I was trying to focus on the good stuff, setting up my new bedroom in the front room so it wasn’t too far from the kitchen, getting a big TV in there. Betsy, my speech therapist’s dog, seemed to think the whole arrangement was wicked, mostly because she got to hang out with me all day.
“Is there something going on? ” Chrissy asked me later, in the café, when she caught me staring into space. “I’m standing here yapping away like a dog outside a butcher’s. What’s rattling through that head of yours?
”
“It’s something that happened yesterday involving a friend, and I can’t stop thinking about it,” I said. “What? ”
“Can’t tell you. ”
“Then which friend?
”
“Can’t tell you that either. Can’t tell anyone. ”
Chrissy just looked at me for a moment. “Right.
Why don’t you go and see this friend of yours and talk to them about what you can’t talk to anybody else about? ”
I nodded. She was right. “See?
” she said. “I’ll call Nina to take over here. Will you look after this place for me? ”
“What, me?
”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. There won’t be many people at this time. ”
“You are a diamond, Chrissy. ”
She just smiled and told me to go.
At the café counter, I took an order for a dad who was meeting his kids—fish finger bites with ketchup, cheese on toast, and a jacket potato with cheese and beans. I tried to stay calm, to be patient. My sister Debbie had said it before: it’s a marathon, not a sprint. But easy words were getting harder to believe.
Later, my brother-in-law Kevin came in, dragging his son Darren along. He’d picked him up from the childminder, nipped to the supermarket, and was complaining about the new flat he’d found near the races in Warrington. An old pub turned into flats, one bedroom, a communal kitchen. “Well, it’s not my dream home,” Kevin said, “but I’ll have to take it till I find somewhere proper.
”
I asked if he’d signed the paperwork. “You’re not signing all my worldly goods over to you, Emma,” he joked, trying to keep it light. Then Bernie came in. He had something serious to say, and he came straight to me.
“Our little chat about me buying a one-way ticket to Switzerland,” he said quietly. “Don’t tell anyone. ”
“You asked me not to. ”
“Good.
”
“I think you should,” I said. “It’s not right that I know and Ronnie doesn’t. ”
“I’m not telling Ronnie. He’ll only try and talk me out of it.
”
“No, you have to. He’s your husband. He’s wondering around oblivious to what you’re planning. In sickness and in health, you made that commitment.
And you can’t keep something like this from him. It’s too big. I’m sorry, Debs. He loves you.
”
“And I love him,” she whispered. “Which is why you’ve got to tell him. ”
I was still processing that conversation when Dylan showed up again. He wouldn’t leave Betsy alone, and it was getting to me.
“Looking for your next victim? ” I snapped. “Some poor girl to strangle after that? ”
“Leave me alone.
”
“Why? And you won’t leave Betsy alone going round there. ”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. ”
“Oh, is that right, big man?
”
It escalated fast. “Oi! What do you say? Are small women more your size?
”
“Dylan! ” I shouted. “Come on then, let’s have it. ”
“Dylan, don’t!
”
“Then don’t hurt women ever,” I said. Dylan laughed, bitter and ugly. “Look at you. You’re loving this, aren’t you?
You’ve always been jealous of me being with Betsy. ”
“You’re off your head. ”
“Listen, mate, she’s not interested in you, right? You look puffed up, strutting around like you’re the big man.
You’re a nobody. Get out of my way. ”
“Who are you talking to? ” I stepped toward him.
“Come back here now. ”
“Rosie! Rosie, stop! ” Betsy’s voice cut through.
“Let him go. It’s not him. ”
I stopped. “That’s from me mum.
She’s a thug. ”
“Dementia’s ruthless,” Betsy said, her voice small. “An understatement. I just wish that me and my brother could care for her better,” I said.
“But I know you said you wouldn’t even think about a care home. I’m not saying you should, but maybe you could think about respite. Just for a day or so a week. A mini break for Olivia.
”
“I don’t know. ”
“I can help you look, if you want. Find somewhere nice for her to try out. ”
“All right, mate.
You better. ”
Later, Kevin asked about my holiday. “You’re the day. Uh yeah, yeah.
Um yeah, we had a great time, man. ”
“Don’t sound very convincing,” he said. “I’m sorry, man. It was hot, you know?
Just hot. ”
“You do heat. ”
“It wasn’t easy, to be honest with you. It was a mistake taking her away from everything she knows.
Around people speaking a different language, prices in euros rather than pounds. Typical Brit abroad, eh? ”
“Um, but you won’t say anything to her? ” I asked.
“No, of course not,” Kevin promised. But then Dylan was there again, in the café, and I lost my temper. “Oi! Stay away from Betsy.
”
“Don’t you start. ”
“What sort of lad does what you did and then come—”
“Leave me alone. ”
“Don’t leave Betsy alone about that. ”
“Sick of everyone around here.
”
“Leave then. ”
“Look at you. You still a Betsy little girl, aren’t you? ”
“Sorry.
But you know, women aren’t play things for men to attack. ”
“I never attacked anyone. ”
“Her death for the wrong bloody kick. ”
“Betsy wanted me to do it.
”
“I swear I want to have a piece of you so bad I could eat you. ”
“No. She was begging for it, wasn’t she? ”
“I didn’t do anything, love.
”
“She’ll have to learn to walk again, Dylan. ”
“I know. ”
“I’m just letting you talk again. ”
“I know, Lauren.
”
“Be faster. Dylan. Dylan. Dylan, get up.
Dylan. Dylan. Dylan. ”
The music cut the argument short.
But something had shifted. Later, I got a call. Dylan was in the hospital. “Sean, I’m so sorry it took me so long,” Betsy said, rushing in.
“I couldn’t get a cab, and I nearly drove someone to drop me at the wrong entrance. Where is he? ”
“They’re doing a CT scan,” I told her. “What have they said?
”
“Nothing yet. ”
“What happened to him? ”
“Found him on the pavement at the precinct. ”
“What, he must have been attacked?
One of them vigilantes or something. But which one? Which one of them has done this to my Dylan? ”
I looked at her.
“Hey. She’s been like that for a while. Checked in with her a couple of times, says she’s fine, but I don’t know. Something’s going on.
”
Then I turned to leave. “Hey. I don’t think Betsy’s hiding someone. I didn’t see anyone.
Anyway, thanks for letting me know, yeah. ”
When I got to Dylan’s room, he was awake. “Hey,” I said softly. “Hey.
It’s okay. You can rest. The doctor said for you to rest. ”
“Hey.
”
“Anya found you. Thank god. ” I pulled something from my pocket. “I think this is yours.
”
“Thanks. ”
“They’ve just been in and said he’s just got concussion. So, he’s okay, but they want to keep him in tonight, just to keep their eye on him. ”
“What happened?
” I asked. “Did someone attack you? ”
“No. ”
“Did someone hit you?
”
“No, I just tripped. ”
“You tripped? ”
“Yeah. That must have just happened when I fell.
I was a fool, not looking where I was going. How’s Daphne? ”
“No, not at all. All right.
Well, I just need to go and call your mom. I promised I’d keep her up to date. You’re not going anywhere, are you? ”
“No.
”
“Do you need anything? ”
“I’m all right, sir. ”
I stepped out of the room. Then I walked back in.
“Hey,” I said. “He’s just relieved you’re all right, so he won’t push you too much. But he tripped? ”
“Yeah.
”
“And Brody didn’t hit you? ”
“Brody? ”
“Please—you were squaring up to each other in the café earlier. I had to hold him back.
Just a coincidence, eh? ”
“It wasn’t Brody. Wasn’t. ”
I sighed and left it.
Later, at the pub, Steve was trying to get hold of Cassie. “If I’d got to see her, I might have persuaded her to stay, you know? Don’t beat yourself up about it, mate. At least you tried.
”
“Well, I’m still trying. All I get is caller unavailable, or a profile pic disappears. I think she’s blocked me for some reason. ”
“Okay,” I said, distracted.
“Babe, can you get us a large red? Just nipping to the loo. Half a lager for Paige. A pint, thanks.
”
When I came back, Steve was talking to someone. “Sorry to bother you. I’m trying to get hold of Cassie. Could you tell me where you dropped her off?
”
“I didn’t drop her anywhere,” the cab driver said. “I saw her getting in your car. ”
“Yeah, yeah, but I don’t know where she was heading to. I dropped her at Piccadilly, I think, maybe.
She was going to the airport. Yeah, I’m sorry. ”
“Thanks,” Steve said, turning back to me. “What is it?
”
“Uh, we’ve got a breakdown,” I said. “Ah, please tell me Kev’s doing it. ”
“Well, he’s out of drink, and I haven’t, yeah? Anyway, it’s the least I can do, innit?
Same as always, agreed to put this one up. ”
“Really? ”
“I said I’d ask, didn’t I? So, as of right now, he’s got a spare room with your name on it.
”
“Oh man, that’s great news. ”
“You’re going to have to cancel my vinyl. ”
“All right. ”
“I’ll see you later.
”
“See you in a bit. ”
I turned to leave. “Oh, come on. He’s pouring it now.
Stay. Be nice to spend some time together. Have a pint at least. ”
“Okay.
All right. ”
But my mind was elsewhere. “Now, are you sure you’ll be able to reach this if you need me? ”
“Yeah, I’m fine.
Just get home safe. ”
Later that night, I got a call from the hospital. Dylan was still there. Then, an hour later, something made me go back.
And that’s when I saw her—Debbie, my sister-in-law, sitting in a chair outside his room, looking like she’d been crying. “What are you doing here? ” I asked. “Well, I just wanted to see you were all right,” she said.
“Clearly not. But, yeah, lucky for you. ”
“I didn’t mean for this to happen. For you to end up in a mess.
”
“Didn’t mean for this to happen? ” I said, my voice shaking. “You slapped me and pushed me over. ”
“Yeah, I know I did, and I’m sorry.
Okay, I saw Betsy and then I saw you and I lost me rag. But I didn’t mean to hurt you. ”
“Just get out. ”
“Dylan, please don’t say that.
”
“Get out. ”
She wouldn’t leave it. “Hiya, can I come in? ”
“Hiya.
”
“So, I just wanted to let you know I took your advice and I told Ronnie,” she said. “Right. Yeah. Well, how did he take it?
”
“Not too well. ”
“Well, that’s understandable. ”
Then Chloe interrupted. “Only me.
I’m just in the middle of a conversation. ”
“Sorry, I didn’t think you heard me. ”
“Yeah, sorry. I’ve had a lot on me mind.
”
“I know. It’s all the fuss going around. She’s in a world of her own earlier and all. Did you not tell her?
”
Debbie looked at me, then back at Chloe. “Oh, right. Uh, right. I can tell there’s something going on between you two, which I’m obviously not a part of.
No, but that’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. I shall leave you to it, and I shall see you later.
”
When Chloe was gone, I told Debbie the truth. “I’ve been looking into assisted dying. Bernie found out, and I asked her not to tell anyone. I didn’t want people trying to change me mind.
But today, she asked me to tell Ronnie. So, I did. And now we’ve decided we’re just going to carry on. Carry on sticking our heads in sand, pretending everything’s all right.
”
Debbie sighed. “Right, I’ll get the drinks in, shall I? ”
“You did say that you weren’t staying for another one. ”
“Yeah, that’s right.
”
“You know, just me and you, then? ”
“Well, that was lovely,” Debbie said, dryly. “Yeah. Let’s do it again sometime, eh?
”
But I wasn’t done. “I’m not daft. ”
“I didn’t say you were. ”
“You lied to Steve about not seeing Cassie before she left here yesterday.
No, no, no, no, no. ”
“Yeah, you did. I heard what you said to him. And I don’t know why.
And I don’t know why you were acting all surprised when you heard that she’d left yesterday. But, you know, I’ll let that slide for now. But if you put one foot out of line, you’re going to be back in Warrington before you know what’s hit you. You got that?
”
“Right, yeah. ”
Debbie looked at me for a long moment and said nothing. And I knew, right then, that nothing in this place was ever going to be the same.
