The email from Joseph’s school sat in my inbox like a small bomb. A mix-up with his fees, they said. Linda couldn’t pay, and then miraculously she could. But she wasn’t the one paying, was she?
I walked into the flat and found Chesney and Gemma. I didn’t bother with pleasantries. “Joseph’s school said there’s been a bit of a mix-up with his fees,” I said. “Obviously Linda couldn’t pay for it and then miraculously she could.
But she’s not the one who’ll be paying, is she? ”
Chesney’s face flushed. “Chesney, we just wanted to help. ”
“I don’t need you plotting behind our back giving these secrets for a handout.
”
“We just wanted to do the right thing. ”
“Me and Gemma will decide what the right thing is for the family, not you. ”
“But Chesney, it’s just money. ”
“No, no.
It’s the secrets. The lying. Me wondering about not knowing that I’ve got this massive debt I owe you. ”
“No, you don’t owe me anything.
”
“I do. I’ve got to pay you back every penny. ”
I looked at my dad, my own father, standing there trying to smooth it over. “It’s all been taken care of.
”
“Dad, I don’t want your charity. ”
“Come on, mate. It’s not charity, is it? We’re family.
”
I couldn’t believe he didn’t get it. “You just don’t get it, do you? ”
“Chesney. ”
“Please, can you just leave?
”
My dad tried again. “Chesney, look. ”
“Dad, I’m absolutely raging about this and I really don’t want to say something that I’m going to regret. ”
“Come on, mate.
”
“Go. ”
They left. Silence filled the room. Gemma stood there, her eyes wide.
She didn’t understand. It was never about the money. It was the secrecy, the feeling that I couldn’t even manage my own family’s life without them stepping in behind my back. I needed to get out of there.
I had a shift at the café. The day had been long. I was at the counter when my phone buzzed again. It was Gemma.
Celeste was dead. She’d been seeing her at the hotel. My grandmother. The woman my nan hadn’t spoken to in years.
But it was more than that. Chesney was at the door. His face was pale. He looked like he hadn’t slept.
“Celeste is dead,” he said. “I was seeing her at the hotel, and I was showing her pictures of the kids, and she was dead chatty, and she told me some stuff. Stuff hard to think about. And then the ambulance came.
”
I pulled him into a hug. This was my brother. We’d had our differences, but he was still my brother. “It’s okay, it’s okay, darling.
”
He pulled back, his eyes urgent. “I need to talk to you. I need to tell you what she said. ”
“Listen, I’ll be soon, okay?
I’ve got a couple of things to sort out. ”
He nodded, but I could see the weight of it all on him. I’d been carrying my own weight. I hadn’t spoken to Celeste.
Not since my granddad died. She was awful then. Vile. Like a vulture circling when his body was barely cold.
Now Gemma was there, looking like she’d been crying. I knew what was coming. Celeste had a way of leaving mess behind, even in death. “Right, Nana didn’t speak to Celeste for years, did you?
” I said. “Decades,” Gemma replied. “Like I said, she had nowt to do with her once Grandad had passed. ”
“I told you.
I told you. You shouldn’t have got involved with her. ”
Gemma’s voice was small. “Do you know what she died of?
No. Cancer. Breast cancer. ”
I felt a cold knot in my stomach.
“Right. ”
“She said that half the family’s died of it. ”
“So? ”
“Mum says genetic.
You, me, Carries, Cleo, all of us. ”
The words hit me harder than I expected. “What? ”
That was her final cruelty.
Even as she lay dying in that hotel room, she found a way to reach out from the grave and hurt us. To terrify us. I looked at Gemma. My sister.
My kids. My family. It was just another thing she’d left us to deal with. Another secret.
Another weight. Another thing I had to figure out on my own.
